How Do You Know?

Why does parenting have to be so hard?
 In my youth, I never once thought I would be uttering phrases like "We do not pee on our sister!' or "Stop licking the bottom of your shoe!" But when those moments arise, all you want to do as a parent is laugh. But you can only laugh for so long until you realize you actually have to stop one kid from peeing on the other kid. And then, of course, they have both seen you laugh so now they think its funny to pee on each other..*deep breaths*..
 But I want them to enjoy childhood. I want them to be able to laugh with us and each other. I want them to learn not to be afraid to try something new or meet new people. But how do you teach "We don't talk to strangers" and at the same time encourage them to make new friends? How do you encourage trying new things, for instance, a sport, while also explaining that they have to be careful or they will get hurt? How do I teach my children that its okay to be silly and goofy but also teach them manners and the "proper way to conduct oneself?" How do I teach my child not to hurt someone (physically or emotionally) while also teaching them to stand up for themselves and what they believe in? Most importantly, how do I instill in my children the lessons that will shape them into the adults that my husband and I, as well as God, would want them to be? Why do I feel like no matter what life lesson I'm trying to teach, I will always contradict myself? What if I'm doing this all wrong?
 Earlier today, I caught my son sneaking popcorn off the table. As if that wasn't bad enough, he had himself a little pile and was licking it off the table. Needless to say, it gave him GREAT pleasure and his little laugh made my heart skip a beat and a smile light my face. All because of some popcorn. My next thought was Oh no! If I don't explain to him what he's doing wrong he'll think its okay! I stopped and really gave the situation some thought. He knows how to eat during a meal. Then it clicked. He thinks that this is funny because he knows his manners. He realized he was being silly and it made him laugh. It took me a minute to figure it all out but I let him be and after a minute or two and many giggles later he stopped what he was doing and moved on. No harm done. Parental decision is a success! But the fact that I gave it so much thought and had myself all worked up over it made me contemplate my parenting skills. What if theses situations aren't always that easy?
 Another example that had my mind spinning, happened a few days ago at the grocery story. My 2yr old daughter loves to "help" at the grocery store. Really that means that I give her a bag of something or a can and she tosses it into the shopping cart, giggles, and asks to do it again. Without thinking on either of our parts, I handed my daughter a pint of blueberries to add to the cart and before I could turn back around blueberries were scattered as far as the eye could see. Then she looked up at me with the worst puppy dog eyes and this expression on her face, as if she just found out that Santa didn't exist, and tears formed in her eyes. It broke my heart that she was so upset about spilling a few blueberries. But I also found it to be an excellent teachable moment. I told her all about how it was an accident and that sometimes we make mistakes or have accidents and that its okay. I asked her if she would help me clean up the mess since we were the ones that made it in the first place. "Oh, sure, mommy!" And we proceeded to clean up. But then a follow mom came over to tell me she saw the whole thing happen and that my daughter didn't mean to make a mess and I should just let the store employee clean it up. I kindly thanked her and proceeded to help my daughter clean our mess. Just before we were finished a different store employee came over and said "Oh, you don't have to clean that up, we'll take care of it for you!" I kindly thanked him too and we finished what we set out to do. Afterwards, and for several hours later, I couldn't help but wonder if it was the right decision to make. At the time, sure, I went with my gut. My gut said it wasn't anyone's fault but ours and so we should clean it up. But the other mother's words "she didn't mean to" and "it was an accident" kept playing over in my head. What if I made my daughter feel worse by making her admit to her mistake? What if I embarrassed her my making her clean it up? How do I know I didn't do more harm than good? I couldn't believe how stressed out this made me. Do other parents have this much trouble parenting? Surely not! They know how to do it right. They must have all the answers. But then I thought about it. Really thought about it. My daughter never mentioned the incident after it was over. In fact, she was happy to help clean up and we went about our merry way. As a matter of fact, it was one of the most pleasant shopping trips we have ever had with the kids. If I upset her wouldn't it show somehow? I'm not saying the other mother was wrong but I am saying that I can give myself a pat on the back. Another parenting success.
 It may not have been the right answer to the problem but it worked out. I went with my gut. I did what I felt was right in my heart. I want my kids to be able to do the same. Then it dawned on me. They will learn by what I do and how I act. So, I think the answer to all my questions can be answered simply by saying: Lead By Example.